By Neva Bodin
When my precocious daughter was four, she decided she could ride my old bike which was designed for a seven or eight year old. Tall for her age, (people thought she was six), she could pedal and steer the unwieldy thing by standing on it, if she could just get her balance. She fell, got hurt, cried, and kept on trying.
In anguish myself, seeing her tears, I commanded her to stop.
“No, I have to ride it!” she cried as sobs coarsened her voice and Wyoming dust outlined tears on her cheeks. Eventually she triumphed, riding away—a victor.
Recently I watched a small beetle attempt to cross over a large twig in its path. It fell, it tried again, fell, tried again…you get the picture. Eventually it succeeded. It didn’t stop to look embarrassed (can bugs look embarrassed?), or appear discouraged; it just kept trying.
For fifteen years a story has been marching around my brain, irritatingly begging me to let it out. Encouraging this brain persecution is the conviction that there are women out there (somewhere, everywhere) who could grow a Christian faith and understanding of some struggles by reading this story. An inspirational romance, the hero and heroine must work through misconceptions, emotional and physical pain, and getting to know themselves in order to find love and rediscover their faith in God—if I can write it well enough. There is the rub—fear and pride are marching around in my head also! I now realize I learned from my daughter and the beetle—there is false pride and there is healthy pride.
Tears and pain sometimes accompany learning something that will eventually give us a healthy pride in ourselves, thereby increasing our self-esteem. We must ignore fearful self-talk and naysayers. Failure many times leads to success; it hones our skill. Thomas A. Edison said, “I’ve not failed, I have just found ten thousand ways that won’t work.”
False pride doesn’t allow for failure and embarrassment when pursuing our goals. It may keep us from pursuing goals. But who do I think I am to avoid looking foolish in my failures?
Many successful and now famous authors have been rejected multiple times. Among them are George Orwell, J K Rowling, Dr. Seuss, and Stephen King. The stories rejected by some publishers went on to become best sellers. While I am no one special, I am in good company if my manuscript is rejected!
Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss) half-length portrait, seated at desk covered with his books / World Telegram & Sun photo by Al Ravenna. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
“Rejection slips, or form letters, however tactfully phrased, are lacerations of the soul, if not quite inventions of the devil – but there is no way around them,” said Isaac Asimove.
Realizing that part of my procrastination comes from feeding the wrong kind of pride has given me new insight and inspiration to finish, polish and begin submitting my novel. No, my tendency to procrastinate and delay work on my novel with the excuse that the flowers need watering, the dishes need washing, etc. has not gone away. But, I now face the real reason I fight myself on this issue, and remember the lessons a little girl and a bright shiny bug taught me. We are meant to try and keep on trying any worthwhile passion, until we get it right. Not only might we accomplish it, but we will be an inspiration to others on the journey. Portrait on side of Dr. Seuss.
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