Grief-Scream, Quietly accept it, or Do Drugs by Cher’ley

 This Blog  by Cher’ley Grogg

I recently experienced one of the most devastating events in my life. My son-in-law, Brian was killed in a freak work accident. I screamed, cried and moaned until I thought there was no more, but I was wrong. I’m still dealing with it and I’m having a hard time. It took me 4 years to accept my brother’s death and I had a chance to say goodbye to him.

I’m cleaning, my office (which I am often doing, since it is a catchall room) when I spot this book by Barbara Johnson—”So, Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and Be Happy“.  I use to read Erma Bombeck, so I’m thinking Barbara’s book is the same. I pick it up and start reading it. It starts out –”My Valley times; the terrible accident that left my husband blind and crippled for many months; the deaths of two sons, one in Vietnam and the other on a highway in the Yukon; dealing the another son who separated  himself and was gone for 11 years. I was mesmerized. I read half the book before putting it down. I plan to finish it this evening. She did explain how she was finding joy through her grief.

Grief is part of our life and we have to deal with it, one way or another. I did all of the things in the title. I had bouts where I screamed and cried from the time it happened until after the funeral, I got some drugs so I could deal a little better (I felt like my heart was ripped out), and I dealt with it in silence. I had a determination to keep my feelings to myself.

Our pastor also handed me a little book about Grief, “Grieving with Hope, Leaning on Jesus” by Rev. Tim Wesemann. I have also started this book. My mind doesn’t stay calm for very long, so I jump from one thing to another.

In Stamp Out Murder-the main character James Freeman has to deal with his grief and he’s had a lot of it. He experienced the death of his father at 15 and the death of his mother, whom, for several years,  he had protected and cared for in place of living his own life.

How do you deal with grief? If you are a writer, do you write grief into your stories? If you are a reader, how do you feel about grief in a novel?

Stamp Out Murder”.

“The Secret in Grandma’s Trunk” This is an especially good book for your Tween Children and Grandchildren.

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